One of the worst of the recent movies is “As Above, So Below.” I bought it at Walmart for $4 and was overcharged.  

The plot is ridiculous. A young woman, whose father spent his life trying to figure out the mystery of Nicholas Flamel’s alchemy, goes from a set of tunnels in Iran (that is about to be blown up in seconds) to the catacombs of Paris. She finds some random guy to take her into the catacombs. Her friend, who is insistent that he won’t go in, ends up running in and away from the cops. There’s some random group of people, who also managed to run from the police, down there singing and holding some religious ceremony. The women that look at them seem angry, but no one goes after them.

Just before I turned it off, they needed to climb over 100 feet of human bones to get to a secret chamber that only this woman knows about (after hundreds of years of people being in the catacombs). And they can’t take the direct route through the perfectly walkable tunnel because unidentified bad thing might kill them like all the others who went there.

Predictable, poorly written, and weakly acted, this is a movie that will make a better Frisbee than to taint my DVD player again. It was so bad, I was embarrassed for the director and actors.